Friday 5 August 2016

✿ Counting Daisies ✿ Nicole Haken ✿

Title: Counting Daisies
Author: Nicola Haken
Genre: M/M Romance
Release: August 1, 2016

Dylan Roberts and Cameron ONeil were good kids. Growing up together, they shared everything. By the age of fourteen they were more than best friends they were in love. They dreamt of their future, of success, marriagehappiness. They were going to grow old by each others side.

But Kids are stupid.

When tragic circumstances forced them apart, Dylan discovered that life wasnt the fairytale he dreamed of; it was dark, difficult, saturated with pain and shame. Life wasnt meant to be enjoyed, merely survived, but even that became a challenge.

Damaged, worthless, and disgusting, he saw no point to his pitiful existence

Until he came face to face with the boy he used to love.

Successful, honourable, and happy, Cameron had achieved the future they planned. He was good, positive, populareverything Dylan would never be. What would happen if Dylan let him back into his world? Would he destroy Cameron too? Would his poison push him away like everyone else?

Everybody leaves.

They leave or they die.

But what ifwhat if Cameron didnt?


ARC received for an honest review

What can I say about Counting Daisies other than to say that Nicola Haken has done it again.

With every one of her books I tell myself that there is no way she can outdo her last book, but each and every time she proves me wrong.

She has blown me away with Counting Daisies.  It is a gutwrenching, but heartbreakingly beautiful story of love and loss, second chances.

She has dealt with issues like mental illness in the past, and with Counting Daisies she deals with addiction.  My goodness does she deal with it.  I have never been an addict (unless you count books and chocolate) but the way she gets into the psyche of Dylan and his addiction, you just know that she has researched addiction  well. - I swear I was reading through tears for so much of this story.

Cameron and Dylan's story is not a pretty one.  It is not hearts and flowers.  It is love at its best and worst.

Best friends as teenagers,  separated for years, but never forgetting each other.   When they reconnect I hoped that they could become that again, that the could overcome all the hurdles placed before them.  Could become more than they were before.

There was nothing I could fault with Counting Daisies.  The story, the writing, the emotions.  I loved every deep,dark hole that this story took us.  It is raw, gritty, and so, so emotional.  And I didn't want Dylan and Cameron's story to end.

Hopefully, one day, we will get a story of some of the secondary characters in this book (cough cough Paul and Derek cough cough) and Dylan and Cam will make an appearance.

Please Ms Haken, make this happen for me?


He clung to my shirt, his knuckles turning white. Make it s-stop.

II dont know how.

Fuck this. Fuck heroin. Why the hell would someone do this to themselves? Id never seen this level of pain before that hadnt resulted in death, and even that was only on TV.

Dylan sobbed into my chest and I held him while he did. My arms were all I had to offer. He remained so cold despite my palms rubbing up and down his back, and he was dirty, too - dried up vomit sticking to his skin and hair. Id never felt so helpless in all my life.

Needing to do something, anything, I climbed to my feet, lifting his body with me. Come on, I encouraged, struggling to take his weight on my own. Try and walk for me.

He whimpered and mumbled but made little effort to move. So, sliding one arm behind his thighs, I scooped him up like a baby, carrying him towards the bath. He clung to my neck, his grip weak, while I turned on the water. I turned the temperature down to barely warm, worried the heat might burn his shivering skin, before lowering him into the bathtub, under the fine spray of the shower.

His muscles twitched and his eyes closed as he hugged his knees to his scrawny chest. Taking a sponge and some shower-gel, I scrubbed softly up and down his trembling body, gently manoeuvring his arms and legs when needed so I could clean every inch of him.

Im tired, Cam, he barely whispered, dropping his head to the side.

My heart ached, like it was trapped inside a vice that was trying to crush its ability to beat, as I lathered some shampoo into his fair hair. You can sleep soon. Nearly done.

I tried not to cry as I massaged his scalp. I wanted to be strong, but Id never felt more vulnerable. Removing the showerhead from the hook on the wall, I hovered it over his head, rinsing away the tea-tree scented suds, before doing the same to the rest of his skin. After shutting the water off, I grabbed a large towel from the heated rail next to the toilet and rubbed it over his skin in the bathtub before lifting him out and doing the same to his back.

I-I cant d-do it anymore, Dylan cried as I wound my arm around his waist, urging him to take a step.

You are doing it. Its almost over. I had no idea if my words were the truth, but I had to hope they were for both of our sakes. Honestly, I felt like I couldnt do it anymore either.

Nicola lives in Rochdale, England with her husband and four children (six if you include the dog and cat!) She is the author the author of the m/m romance Souls of the Knight series, and is currently working on a standalone with new boys, James and Theo, due for release early 2016. When she is not busy playing with her imaginary book friends (or talking about them with real life friends!) she can usually be found carrying out her ordinary mum/housewife/all round slave duties. Oh, and if the kids ever ask, she moonlights as the Pink Power Ranger while they're sleeping...